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| Crappy drivers...jeeze. |
Ok, this week’s harrumph is for all of you out there who have sat at a red light, oh…four cars back, waiting to make a left turn. Sure enough, the green arrow comes on and you sit there, astonished as you watch the first car in line make his left turn…after about ten seconds!!! Which, of course, only allows the idiot at the front who isn’t paying attention, and maybe the next sad sack in line to go through the light before getting your picture taken by that evil one-eyed robot camera sitting there at the intersection, laughing at the fact that most drivers are morons. Or, maybe you have moved over to the freeway exit…sure, you’re in a long line of cars on their commute to work…and you watch…astonished…as a million cars fly by you in the empty lane to your left only to have them throw their blinker on and jam into the exit lane in the last 10 feet…of course, causing everyone else, who are following the rules of driving civility, who have already transitioned to the exit lane, to stomp on their brakes to avoid rear-ending the car in front of them. AAARRRGGG!!!! I hate those idiots!!!!!!! More importantly, this harrumph can help those of you that maybe are sitting there saying to yourself “wait a minute, is he talking about me?” You see, those of you that are “that” guy, sitting at the front of the lane, not paying attention to the light…or seem to think that it’s your right to get to “wherever” before everyone else, you are the idiots that cause accidents. Yes, that’s right…you know it’s true. It’s not the clown that jams into a lane that gets hit…it’s the sad sack right behind him that is forced to stomp on the brakes that gets blasted by the unlucky slob right behind him!!! And of course, the moronic SOB that caused it all continues on his oblivious, merry way while the cops and the EMTs sort out the arms & legs of those who are left by the side of the road bleeding out. Oh, here’s another thing I can’t stand. Just because you turn your blinker on doesn’t give you God-given rights to the lane you want to move into. If there’s a car already there…wait until it’s clear to move over…idiot. Ever heard of looking in your mirrors before a lane change? And what about those morons that go for a ride in the fast lane…at 50 miles per hour?!!!! What’s up with this? In my opinion there are only two types of drivers that block the fast lane while not even driving the speed limit. You’ve got “crusaders” and idiots. Crusaders…you’ve seen them. Some clown in a ’75 Dodge Dart driving along like it’s 1907…you know, when the top speed of cars were comparable to horses. They’re on a “crusade” to make sure no one drives faster than they have decided is safe…jeeze…crusaders. The other type of fast lane blocker is the idiot who’s being passed on the right by everyone in the world and when you pass them and look over, sure enough, you see that blank expression as they don’t even seem to recognize that there’s a whole planet of people going by them like a battalion of tanks on parade…heck they probably wouldn’t notice that either. Hello???? Pay attention!!!!! Oh, another thing I’ve got to say…trucks. Yeah, you truckers out there. You know, just in case you don’t know it…you don’t own the whole damn road! For example, if we’re on a two-lane freeway don’t wait until I’m coming up in the left lane to pass you to decide that you really need to go around that other semi in front of you. And then…pass the other truck while going about 3 miles per hour faster than the truck you’re passing!!! AAARRRGGG!!!!!! You know, I’ve heard ads on the radio that say “without trucks, America stops.” Well, I for one am willing to stop America for a couple of hours while truckers learn to drive. You know, I’m not lecturing you because I’m the best driver out there…well ok, maybe I am…but that doesn’t detract from the fact that most of you out there just plain suck when it comes to driving. It’s either that or it’s an evil Chinese plot to flood our roads with “infiltrators” TRYING to cause fatal accidents just to reduce our population in order to give them an even larger advantage in numbers before they attempt an invasion. *Sigh* As usual, I’ve got the solution to our problem of crappy drivers. The DMV should just stop issuing drivers licenses for a couple of years. Tell teenagers that’ll be eligible to get licenses in the next 5 years “sorry, we have too many crappy drivers out there and we need to cut back on the number of morons on the road.” Oh, that would be “unfair” you say? Waaahh! Not everyone gets to do everything they want. I mean, did 19 and 20 year olds back in 1941 get to decide if they really wanted to put on a uniform or were they told “sorry, we have too many crappy enemies out there and we need to cut back on the number of enemy soldiers on the road to world domination.” Hmmm…don’t think many of those GI’s complained about not getting a drivers license as they had to hump it over Omaha beach or Guadalcanal. Harrumph…
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