The Statistics
& Logistics division (Occult Section) at HARRUMPH has, once again, called
in our resident gypsy, Madam Geneva (and her magical blind dog) to channel the
ghost of Lenin, in order to go over the “What ever happened to Stalin” poll. Unfortunately, Madam Geneva has been having
some trouble getting through to the ghost of Lenin, so we have decided to
interview Mrs. Raisa Bogdonovich, cleaning lady currently assigned to the Lenin
tomb at the Kremlin.
“Hallo,
my name iz Raisa Bogdonivich, it iz my honor to clean, day after day, the tomb
of the leader of the revolution, Lenin (said in a rather sarcastic tone.) I haf been doing this job for thirteen…
long, long, years and I haf had enough!
All the time, from when I get here in the morning, until I leave at
night, I can hear him constantly in that coffin: “I am Lenin this. I am
Lenin that. I am Lenin… blah, blah,
blah. We all know you are Lenin, just
shut up already! I tell you, it iz
enough to drive someone crazy! And, if
that iz not bad enough, the embalming fluid they used has not done a good
job. Rats… always the rats come to chew
off a piece of nose or a toe. I catch
at least three rats every day. I guess
I should not complain, with all the imaginary bread lines, a little rat meat
goes a long way.”
“So,
the poll results are not very surprising since one of Lenin’s favorite topics of
discussion are Stalin’s little ‘adventures’ to Castrovich street in
Moscow. Lenin says Stalin had more
shoes than Imelda Marcos and more women’s underwear than Pee Wee Herman. Uggg, communists…”
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