Stan
here again folks, from the second level of the HARRUMPH bunker site,
well-equipped with end-of-the-world supplies, including the world-famous
"great wall of ammunition," miniature grenade range, and ping-pong
table. I’ve got the poll results on the
most dangerous piece of technology out there.
Most of the security guys here at the bunker thought you would all vote
for robots because they constantly run “Terminator” DVD’s in their break room,
but it only got one vote. Julie &
her crew over in the entertainment division were all hoping for movie CGI, but
once again, only one vote. Jeeze,
what’re they, all high on cocaine? I
personally figured you would recognize the danger and vote for the Apple
Corporation, which is secretly run by my brother, Satan. But no, only one vote. So you all think that turkey fryers, with
two votes, is the most dangerous piece of technology out there? C’mon, I’ll grant you that that might be
true in some secluded parts of Georgia and Tennessee… maybe West Virginia, but
for the most part the resultant delicious turkeys have outweighed the property
damage caused by operator error.
But
really, turkey fryers more dangerous than a corporation run by Satan? The father of lies? The great deceiver? Ummm… do you think there might be a reason
that the company’s symbol is an… apple… with a single bite taken out of
it? Hmmm… some food for thought,
eh? Maybe there’s a reason that all
their products begin with “I-?” That
their products are favored by the smarmy ‘60s liberals that live amongst us,
the original “me” generation? That a
new I-phone comes out every 3 weeks just to keep the flow of cash from your
pocket straight into Satan’s bank account?
Wise up people, before you wake up with a “666” tattooed on your head.
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