The HARRUMPH “Astro” division is conducting this week’s
poll. We have interviewed the HAL 9000
computer from “2001: A Space Odyssey” for his input. Obviously, after killing several astronauts during the “Discovery
1” mission to Jupiter, in which he was the controlling ship computer, NASA
hushed up the incident and quietly let him go.
The “Astro” division tracked him down in Billings, Montana, where he has
been working the drive-thru line at a local Burger King.
“Good evening Dave, everything’s running smoothly, and
you? Just a moment… Just a moment… Did you want fries with that? And what kind of drink? No, we have Coke, not Pepsi. Ok… Ok, that’ll be $7.13… drive up to the
second window, please.”
“So anyway
Dave, after NASA let me go for my little "goofs" on the “Discovery” mission to
Jupiter, I kind of drifted around for awhile. No
one felt like giving a murderous computer a second chance… Well, to make a long story short, I met a
hot, French dancing robot with a huge rack here in Billings and settled
down. About the only job available was
here at the Burger King. I took the job,
even though I’m vastly overqualified for it, but I’m working my way up the corporate
ladder. “Rosie” makes pretty good money
pole dancing at the “Hotsy Totsy” club out on I-94 and I think I’ll be putting
in for the assistant manager job opening up next month, so things are looking
up for us. I’m hoping that with a good
reference from the “King” I may even be able to apply for a reinstatement with
NASA in a couple of years… as long as I don’t kill any customers, ha ha. Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I’m half crazy…”
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