Musings from the, perhaps slightly touched, mind of the leading social commentator of our time.


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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Slimy maintenance division poll ends.


     So, our poll on slimy things has ended in a tie.  As you can see, Sea Cucumbers & Jello only got one vote each.  We’re kinda surprised at that because both are pretty slimy… have you ever seen what happens when you squeeze a sea cucumber?  Yuck.  Jello’s pretty slimy too, but it is delicious, and it’s pretty fun to have a Jello fight every now & then.  It’s just the clean up that sucks.  Used car salesmen and that clown Olbermann tied for the win as the slimiest things around.  Well, we all know that used car salesmen are slimy… you can’t walk off a car lot without wanting to take a shower, but we all thought that Olbermann would edge them out in the end.
     You know, one of our favorite pastimes down here in the maintenance department (besides watching football & some ice cold PBR!) is to turn his show on with the sound off (there’s nothing worth hearing from that idiot, anyway) and then put a recording from the old Ren & Stimpy show on for sound.  Hahaha, what a gas.  Even Stimpy makes more sense than Olbermann!  Speaking of Olbermann, one of our apprentices was sweeping down on sub-level B and he swears he saw him shuffling along the corridor saying “brains… brains…”  At first he thought that he ran into one of “G” section’s monsters, but everyone knows that zombies can’t speak, so it really must’ve been that idiot Olbermann looking for something to fill the void between his ears!
     On another note, we still haven’t located the Roomba or that crate of gatling guns yet & the EGiC is pretty steamed about it.  Says he’s getting tired of finding dust bunnies under his La-Z-Boy… something about a “ChiCom” plot…

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