Once again, our resident gypsy here at the evil HARRUMPH
organization, Madam Geneva, and her goat, have channeled the ghost of Lenin for
his take on the poll results.
“I am
Lenin, I speak to you from the worker’s paradise that is the Union of Soviet
Socialist Republics. I am Lenin, and I
have passed out to the glorious workers in the tractor factories many imaginary
loaves of bread that should have been harvested from our glorious collective
farms. I am Lenin, I take no special
privileges that a leader in the decadent western world would, were he in my
position. I am Lenin, and I will lead a
global revolution of the proletariat against the corruption of capitalism. I am Lenin, and… Jeeze, I just can’t take
this crap anymore. Ok, I admit it;
communism is just a ponzi scheme we used to gain power. You think I’m eating an imaginary loaf of
bread like those “useful fools” in the street?
Ha! I am Lenin. I’m chowing down on the best caviar from the
Black Sea and enjoying a little brandy… Napoleon, 1804… man, it’s good to be
Czar. Just don’t let any of the
proletariat hear that! Of course, when
you get right down to it, being Czar of a frozen wasteland populated by a bunch
of dirty vagabonds isn’t exactly the best gig in the world. In fact, it’s downright depressing. Imaginary bread lines, tractor shortages,
nothing to read except that crap written by Marx, and snow, snow, snow. *Sigh* And you know what? I think that pimp,
Stalin has been plotting stuff behind my back.
Clown isn’t even a real Russian.
You know he’s from Georgia?
Another grape-picking peasant.
*Sigh* All things considered, I wish I’d stayed in Germany.”
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