The Statistics & Logistics division would like to conduct
this week’s poll. Before we begin we
would like to point out that the Statistics & Logistics division is aware
that Germany has not started every war, as the question implies. However, they have started some pretty bad
ones, so the EGiC has directed us to issue this poll.
And so, in order for our department head to avoid having his chair (with
him attached) fall into a pool of crocodiles at the next Evil Genius board
meeting, he decided that we would run with it, as directed. In order to introduce this week’s poll, we
have consulted Madam Geneva, our resident gypsy, and her goat, to channel the
ghost of Lenin.
“I
am Lenin, let the collective view me as their savior from the clutches of the
evil Czar Nicholas, played so ably by Michael Jayston in his only memorable
role in the film 'Nicholas & Alexandra.’ I am Lenin, I would take from each Russian according to his
ability… and save it for the proletariat in the back room of my dacha on the
shores of the Black Sea. I am Lenin, I
would pass out bread to each Russian, according to his needs… if there was
actually bread on the shelves. I am
Lenin, I am better than the evil Czar, for he would take from each and store it
in his St. Petersburg residence… and he would not even tell you that he would
want to pass out imaginary bread. I am
Lenin, and I will be the George Washington of the new Union of Soviet Socialist
Republics… for at least the next seventy years or so. I am Lenin, and I promise the proletariat that I will govern them
with compassion and justice… and that we, the Bolsheviks, will not murder them wholesale, like
the Czar… well, unless that pimp, Stalin, somehow gets his bloody hands on the reins of
power… Jeeze, what a psycho. Oh, and
the Germans? Well, they seemed nice…
and they gave me a free train ride back to Russia in 1917.”
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