Operations
division here. As you know, our first
public opinion poll is complete. We
were taken by surprise by the results.
A full 36% of you think we should open lemonade stands to fund our
department. As the votes came in, and
we saw that this was a real possibility we, of course, began planning for
it. We went ahead & activated a
couple of our agents that used to play for the Lingerie Football League &
told them to be prepared to hit the streets.
We even painted a few signs with “Lemonade $20/glass Tips accepted” in preparation. Well, thanks to a last minute flurry of
votes for another choice, we don’t have to worry about getting a business license
& the gals have been sent back to the “secretarial pool.” *wink* *wink*
We also don’t have to plan for another tunnel into the Bank of
England. Whew! We were worrying about
that one ‘cause there are already so many tunnels beneath & around the bank that you
can’t even case out the joint without falling into one! Didn’t think we’d get any “stimulus” cash
either because our organization actually gets results & we all know
that the Feds currently only give handouts to union bosses, “community
organizers,” & other rat holes.
So, it
looks like we’ll be paying a visit to Al Gore’s “Scrooge McDuck”-like gold room
in his 9 million dollar mansion.
Fortunately, we anticipated this move years ago & took
precautions. Even as we speak, the four
agents we sealed up in the wall of Al Gore’s gold room when it was built should
be chiseling their way out, “Shawshank Redemption” style. Soon, all of Al Gore’s ill-gotten simoleons
& carbon offsets will be ours!! You know what they
say: “It takes money to make money” (or
in Al Gore’s case a Vice-Presidency!)
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