Musings from the, perhaps slightly touched, mind of the leading social commentator of our time.


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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Poll #30 Radiation cloud poll ends.

     Once again, the following is a transcript recorded at a special meeting of the “Superhero Corps.”  They continue their special session meeting discussing the earthquake/tsunami/nuclear crisis in Japan.  Attending this special session were:  Superman, Batman & Robin, Captain America, Aquaman, Supergirl & Batgirl, Spiderman, Ironman, Wonder Woman, The Hulk, and Shaggy & Scooby-Doo.  Loud rock music continues to play in the background as Supergirl & Batgirl test out the new “Superheroin poles” installed in the bar section of the Superhero Corps Hall.

SUPERMAN:  “Alright everybody, we’ve gone over the Japanese crisis and determined that Speed Racer should take the lead on relief & recovery.  Let’s move on to the question of which superpower Americans would like to get from radiation exposure.  Batman, please give us the results of this week’s poll.”
BATMAN:  “Well, the results are on the web for anyone to see.  And besides, you already passed out a sheet of paper to everyone at the meeting showing the results.  I really don’t see what the significance of reading it aloud are.”
SUPERMAN:  “Look Batman, I didn’t want to go here but, as the leader of the Superhero Corps I am ordering you to read the poll results.”
THE HULK:  “Leader?  I don’t remember any kind of election.  And besides, I sure wouldn’t vote for some prissy clown in tights anyway.”
IRONMAN: “Here, here.”
AQUAMAN:  “This is B.S.  I’m going next door and see how Batgirl & Supergirl like the new superpoles we put in for them.  Anyone want a beer?”
IRONMAN:  “Yeah, I’ll take one.  Hey, get some ‘singles’ in change and I’ll meet you in there after I hit the can.”
ROBIN:  “You guys are gross.”
THE HULK:  “Are you out from under the table, ‘Boy Wonder’?  I was wondering why Batman had a smile on his face.  I’m outta here.  Hey Aquaman, order me a couple of beers too.”
SUPERMAN:  “Enough bickering.  Let’s go around the table & see if anyone’s got any new ideas.  Hey, has anyone seen Wonder Woman?”
SPIDERMAN:  “Yeah, she’s next door getting a lap dance from Batgirl.  Hey Aquaman, order me a beer too, I’m done with this crap.”
SUPERMAN:  “*sigh* Captain America, you’ve been quiet during this whole discussion.  Do you have anything to add on this superpower question or the Japanese crisis?”
CAPTAIN AMERICA:  “I’m just looking for someone’s ass to kick.  It’s what I do.  ChiComs?  Russkies?  Just point me in the right direction.”

     The room slowly empties of everyone but Superman, who holds his head in his hands as the sounds of loud rock music, cheering and ripping spandex emanates from the bar…

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