Good
afternoon. I am Mr. Pool, the librarian
here at the undisclosed HARRUMPH bunker site, well-equipped with
end-of-the-world supplies, including the world-famous "great wall of
ammunition," miniature grenade range, and ping-pong table. We strive for accuracy in all we do at
HARRUMPH, and this week’s topic is no exception. While researching Japan for our current poll, I came across a
rather interesting chat room focusing on history. In it, I began a conversation with YAMAMOTO_GUY_1238, who I
believe is the ghost of Admiral Yamamoto, the architect of the Pearl Harbor
raid and the Japanese offensive that nearly won them the Pacific. Obviously, I could not let this opportunity
to learn history first-hand, directly from the source. The following is part of our official
transcript.
POOLBABY69: “Admiral Yamamoto, it is a pleasure to chat
with you today.”
YAMAMOTO_GUY_1238: “It is a most pleasure for me to speak once
again with my American friends. Please
to ask question.”
POOLBABY69: “Very well.
Why exactly did Japan strike at America? Surely you must have known our industrial might would defeat you
in the end?”
YAMAMOTO_GUY_1238: “Very complicated, that question. It was the Army that wished war with the
United States. Us in the Navy knew we
had very limited time to take advantage of circumstances. I see your name is ‘poolbaby,’ you like to
swim, yes?”
POOLBABY69: “Yes, as a matter of fact I do. I’m not sure what that has to do with
history though. Now, many Admirals in
all the world’s navies believed in the Battleship as the decisive weapon of
naval warfare. You, on the other hand
were an advocate of naval aviation. Why
did you believe so strongly in aircraft?”
YAMAMOTO_GUY_1238: “Yes, aircraft capabilities were increasing
during the 1930’s, so it was natural to follow this course of action. Speaking of natural, do you like to swim ‘naturally’
or do you wear the swimming suit?”
POOLBABY69: “Sir, I certainly do not swim nude, if that
is what you are asking. And, I, once
again fail to see what that has to do with history, naval or not!”
YAMAMOTO_GUY_1238: “I see.
You like to wearing the speedo swimming suit, yes? Perhaps you might to be wearing one even
now?”
-----------Connection
Terminated-----------
Join Mr. Pool & Admiral Yamamoto in voting on this
week’s poll! Congratulations to J.P. of
Tracy, California, last week’s winner of a limited edition, special prize
button!
I always thought Yamamoto was strange, and why else would he have been riding in that airplane when he was shot down? A secret assignation maybe? Hmmm.
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