Poll #27 by “G” Section ends: M. Night Sillyman & his crappy films.

     Once again, we turn to “G” Section’s cloned film critics, dead Gene Siskel & disease-racked Roger Ebert for another edition of “At The Crappy Movies.”

     Cloned, dead Siskel:  “Welcome back to our show everyone.  Tonight we’ll be discussing the recent Academy Awards and why they suck my dead, cloned ass.”

     Cloned, disease-racked Ebert:  “Gene, it’s really rather simple.  The Academy Awards suck nowadays because they’re nominating the wrong people.”

     Cloned, dead Siskel:  “I agree, today’s actors are nothing like the actors of Holywood’s heyday.”

     Cloned, disease-racked Ebert:  “I mean look at one of the recent awards for Best Supporting Actor:  Heath Ledger wins it.  And why?  Because he’s dead!  There should be a new rule for the Academy Awards… if a dead guy is nominated they shouldn’t nominate anyone else for that category.”

     Cloned, dead Siskel:  “Yeah, can you imagine winning against a dead guy?  In today’s PC environment you’d be professionally shunned for intolerance.”

     Cloned, disease-racked Ebert:  “Speaking of intolerance, our winner for ‘Best Actor’ has got to be Mel Gibson for his portrayal of a sane man...”

     Cloned, dead Siskel:  “...instead of the gibbering maniac he appears to be.  And, for ‘Best Actress’ we’ve got to give the award to Janeane Garofalo for her depiction of an FBI agent in “24.”

     Cloned, disease-racked Ebert:  “That one really takes the cake.  It’s as surreal as if Hitler tried passing himself off as a Girl Scout, uniform and all.”

     Cloned, dead Siskel:  “Finally, our award for ‘Best Actor Supporting A Drug Habit’ goes to, who else?  Charlie Sheen.”

     Cloned, disease-racked Ebert:  “This guy is so far over the top that he’d make his dad wish it was him that changed his last name to Estevez.”

     Cloned, dead Siskel:  “He says he’s living the life of a ‘rock star.’  Yeah, a ‘cocaine rock’ star.  Roger, he says he loves hanging out with hot porn stars.”

     Cloned, disease-racked Ebert:  “I think we have to look at the big picture here, Gene.  A  really hot chick like Denise Richards dumps him and he says he’s a stud with ‘tiger’ blood for hanging out with porn stars.  Umm, news flash Charlie, as soon as you run out of money, you’ll run out of porn stars.”

     Cloned, dead Siskel:  “Yeah, pretty pathetic.  Well, let’s conclude tonight’s show with two bony, death-like, thumbs down for the Academy Awards and all the clone-like boring actors that we’ve got to put up with these days.  Damn, I’m glad I’m dead.  Join us again next time when dead Siskel,”

     Cloned, disease-racked Ebert:  “and, disease-racked Ebert,”

     Cloned, dead Siskel:  “are at the crappy movies.”