Once
again, the Armory division would like to introduce Colonel Trowbridge VC, KBE,
DSO, DCM to go over the results of our poll.
“Right,
Colonel Trowbridge here. I have
received the following dispatch from HARRUMPH headquarters: ‘Japanese forces
have broken through in sections Toyota and Honda; suggest immediate evacuation
via small craft and…’ Wait one bloody
minute… what is this nonsense? (*muffled
laughter in background*) I say, did you
armory boys put me up to this rubbish? (*more laughter*) Bloody yanks.”
“All right,
let’s get to the results, what? It
appears that the flame-thrower received zero votes. Now, this is quite unexpected since, as I remember, the
flame-thrower was a rather effective weapon.
I remember when I was on loan to the United States Marines during the
invasion of Saipan. I was attached to
General "Howlin' Mad" Holland Smith’s Corps headquarters as liason
for the Royal Navy destroyer squadron which was part of the shore bombardment
force. Well, once we landed…” (*muffled voice from off-page*)… “I say, what was that?” (*muffled voice*) “Oh, right…off topic again…right, sorry…back to the poll
results, eh? Right, well, with one vote is
this tele’ thing with this Maddow person.
I’m sorry, who is this person? I
don’t have the faintest clue who she is.”
(*muffled voice from off-page*)… MSNLB...LNB… oh, rot…well, whoever she
is she bloody lost.”
“Right, well
the last two tied but quite frankly I don’t know how you could compare a
machete and a shotgun. I mean, really,
you would use them in two different situations. But I guess you rich yanks would probably have both anyway so I’m
not even sure if we need to make any comparisons. After, all I’m sure you would fire your bloody shotgun with your
unlimited bloody ammunition…” (*muffled
voice from off-page*)… “I say, why are you interrupting me? Bloody yanks… right, I’ve had just about
enough of this rot…” (*stomping off stage*)
Ummm… thank
you, Colonel Trowbridge, for that enlightening analysis (*voice from
off-page:* “Sod off, you bloody
yanks!” *more stomping*)…
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