Once again, the Research and Development division of the
HARRUMPH organization would like to introduce Professor Henry Smith, American
citizen:
“Umm, gut mornink everyvun.
Vee haf zee poll results available for you… hmmm… mmm (*Once again, a kind of a weird, muffled giggle*.) It zeems people are not very annoyed at
digital clocks at all und zey are only zlightly annoyed at people who don’t
know vat und analog clock iz or cannot read vun. But, zey ARE raszer annoyed at people who cannot get to zeir
appointments on time! I qvite agree! hmmm… mmm.
Vat iz zee use uf organization if zee folk do not follow zee lead uf zee
leader und be on time! ON TIME UND ON
TARGET! (*mumbling from off stage*)
hmmm… mmm. No, I am fine. I do not need a drink uf vater. Az I vuz sayink, it iz up to zee folk. Zee
leadership may set zee policy, but it iz up to zee folk to implement zee plans…
hmmm… mmm. Zey must be in goozeztep… I
mean… lockztep… hmmm… mmm… if zey are to be zuczezzful! If only zee folk had delayed zee Bolsheviks
anozer zree or four months I could haf perfected zee gyroscopic mechanizum und
actually hit zee Parliament buildink, or maybe efun Buckingham Palaze!… hmmm… mmm.
Yez, zat would haf brought zee English to zee negotiatink table…” (*running shoe noises from off stage as they
rush the podium*)
“Thank you, Professor Henry Smith, for
your… ummm, unique insight into this week’s poll results.” (*mumbling from off stage*) “No, just bring him down to his lab and wait for me.”
“Anyway, thank you for your attention, and, ummm… the
professor just wanted me to remind you, ummm… before you go, that he is an
American citizen… born in, ummm… Pennsylvania… and has never been to Germany
or, ummm… Argentina… ummm… thank you.”
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