Hello people of the world, Gabriel here again. Well, as you’ve all probably realized the
world didn’t end last Saturday. I sat
around waiting and waiting for the call from the “Big Guy” all day long. You know, I must’ve checked my cell for a
God text a million times! I was ready
to go too! The horn was all polished
up, Maher’s address was loaded into the GPS, heck I even sharpened up the sword
so that I wouldn’t get slowed down reaping souls (you see, Michael and I kinda
have a bet going on as to who can bag the most souls during the apocalypse.)
I had a great plan too.
I was figuring on appearing down in Georgia or Alabama as soon as I got
the “go” signal and just work my way through the “Bible belt.” Michael was going to head up to D.C. and
start there. I think that I would’ve
bagged more souls even if the population’s a little thinner down in Dixie than
in Washington. Heck, I think Michaels
plan is flawed from the beginning.
Yeah, there might be more people up in the D.C. area but everyone knows
that politicians have no souls so he’ll be spending his time wading through the
political “chaff” while I’ll be bagging church after church of Baptists.
So anyway, no apocalypse this month so the sword and horn go
back on the shelf. But they’re ready to
go, so as soon as I get the “go” text from the “Big Guy” you might be seeing
me. Hopefully sooner than later!
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