Poll #37 ends. Now that Usama Bin Laden’s time on this Earth has come to an end how do you envision he “left the building?”

     So, the poll results are out and you can see that one person believes the raid was all a government conspiracy; no one voted for choices #2 & 3, UBL going out like an action hero or a jibbering fool.  Most votes were for the “Jefferson Davis” method of dressing like a woman to get away.  Didn’t work for either Davis or UBL.  We now present more of the ocean floor recordings of who we believe to be the corpse of UBL.

*static*   “HARRUMPH Intelligence division tape, South Pacific: May 5^th, 0505 hours, sector NCE.”  *static*

     UBL—*sigh*  “You know, I’m just glad it’s all over.  The waiting… yes, the waiting was the worst.  It was very hard on my blood pressure.  Another couple of years and I probably would’ve had a heart attack.  *sigh*  with all my medical problems I need a heart attack like I need a hole in the head. *laughter*  Yes, yes, I know… a hole in the head… haha, I get it, because now I do have a hole in my head.  I can’t stand that either because crabs keep crawling in there thinking it’s an empty shell.  It’s also very boring here on the ocean floor.  I’m tired of just sitting here doing nothing while all my brothers in the caves are planning new attacks on the Great Satan.  I also miss watching “MANswers” on the Spike channel.  You don’t get good reception on the bottom of the ocean.  Do you know that you don’t even get Al Jazeera down here?  *sigh*  But enough about me, tell me more of the two of you.”

     NEW VOICE—“Well, we were on a record breaking ‘round the world flight a few years back.  We were almost home when we got jumped by some Japanese fighter planes and shot down.”

     UBL—“I see, but why did you have a woman on board?  And with no burka?”

     NEW VOICE—“No, you don’t understand.  She was the pilot.  I was just along as the navigator.”

     UBL—“A woman was in charge of this flight of yours?  I find that incredible!”

     NEW VOICE—“Yes, she was one helluva pilot!  You know, if you just talk to her instead of giving her the cold shoulder, I’m sure you could learn a lot.”

     UBL—“No, that’s impossible.  I cannot converse with her.  Best if she stays over there by the wreckage of your plane.  Yes, that would be best.”

     NEW VOICE—“Is it because of your religion?  Some Muslim law about not talking to women?”

     UBL—“No, it has nothing to do with that.  It’s just that she’s so moody.  It’s really a downer.  Besides, she could really use some bigger boobs!”

*static*   “HARRUMPH Intelligence division tape, South Pacific: May 5^th, 0516 hours, sector NCE.”  *static*