Musings from the, perhaps slightly touched, mind of the leading social commentator of our time.


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Friday, May 13, 2011

Poll #38 Which would be the best line to get into at the supermarket?

     The following conversation was overheard by several customers at the local supermarket when a couple of superheroes from the “Superheroes Corps” came in to shop.

BATMAN:  “All right, we’ve got all the items Wonder Woman had on the shopping list.  Which line do we get into Superman?”
SUPERMAN:  “Well, using my super-intellect I’ve calculated the number of items in each line, the number of customers and an estimation of their I.Q., Each cashier’s ability with the cash register, and the experience level and efficiency of each bagger.  I would have to say that Chester’s line will be the shortest.”
BATMAN:  “Why do you have to do that every time?”
SUPERMAN:  “What are you talking about?”
BATMAN:  “You know what I’m talking about.  Every week you’ve got to do all these ‘super-calculations’ and you know, you haven’t been right once yet.”
SUPERMAN:  “I beg to differ.  Besides, we must take our valuable time into account.  We are, after all, superheroes and every minute spent not fighting crime is a part of the problem, not a part of the solution.  Chester’s got 20 years experience as a cashier and therefore his line has the advantage.”
BATMAN:  “Well, we’re not getting into Chester’s line, we’re getting into Brittany’s line.”
SUPERMAN:  “Brittany’s line?  But she’s only been working here for a couple of months.  We’ll be stuck there for several valuable minutes while she muddles through the check-out.  Besides, she’s almost tardish in her intellect.  Why would you choose her over Chester’s vast experience?”
BATMAN:  “Because, Chester may have vast experience but he doesn’t have a vast rack like Brittany does.”
ROBIN:  “Point of order: boob size has nothing to do with work efficiency!”
SUPERMAN & BATMAN (simultaneously): “Shut up, ‘Boy Wonder’ and get back in the basket!”

2 comments:

  1. Number 4/Random FactMay 14, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    Ah yes. I, too, am ALWAYS in the wrong line. Be it the one with the secret coupon user, or the one with the only person on the Bay Area that still has to write a check, thats the I choose. Moral of the story? Don't let me pick... In fact, don't even try shopping with me!

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  2. You also never want to get behind the old lady with the bug purse, because not only will she write a check, which is going to be excruciatingly painful, she will then have to fiddlefuck around in her purse for 10 minutes trying to put everything away. Your order will be completely checked out, but you will be waiting for her to move so you can pay the damn bill.

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