ATTENTION! ATTENTION! ATTENTION! The following is an official communiqué from the HARRUMPH
Ministry of Propaganda:
*old Soviet Army martial
music CD plays in background*
“Minions
and henchmen of the glorious HARRUMPH organization, we have great news to
announce! As our air and ground forces
continue to punish the ChiCom menace and push them into a smaller and smaller
pocket along the border of Mongolia; As our special force commando units
parachute into the heart of Paris to face down the growing mime army; As
our fully autonomous Roomba vacuum
units, equipped with double gatling guns and supported by radio controlled
velociraptors and pterodactyls attack the enemy at every point; Our glorious
intelligence services have identified yet another threat to our organization’s
plan to take over the world.”
“Another
‘evil’ organization, led by a five member junta known as the ‘Fab Five’ has built
their empire across the globe.
Obviously, they, and their figurehead leader, Micky, must be
destroyed. Therefore, the glorious air
and ground forces of the evil HARRUMPH organization have already crossed the
border and struck into the very heart of the beast. We, even now, have units pushing forward from the so-called ‘Main
Street’ into Adventureland, Tomorrowland, and Frontierland. Commando Penguin units have parachuted into
Fantasyland and hold the Carrousel and parts of ‘Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.’ Detention camps have been set up outside
City Hall and are filled with costumed freaks which make up the vast majority
of the Disney Army.”
“H.A.
Rrumph, our Caesar-like leader and the Evil Genius in Charge (EGiC) of the HARRUMPH
organization, has announced a bounty for the capture of the ‘Fab Five.’ Once they have been captured, our glorious
tribunals will hold a show trial that will be broadcast on all channels! As a warning to all Disney forces that dare
to continue to fight, one of the ‘Fab Five’ will be chosen for liquidation on a
live broadcast. This week’s poll will
decide their fate!”
No comments:
Post a Comment