Has anyone else
noticed this? I remember when I was a
wee tike all the books, magazines and movies that made big promises for the
future. Well, the future is here and
it’s nothing like what they said it would be like. About the best thing we’ve got from the promised future is cell
phones and quite frankly, I think the world was a better place before they
invented them.
Do you remember
Star Trek? Remember all the cool things
they had? They had transporters that
could beam you all over the galaxy.
What do we have now? The TSA
that’s what. “Please step on the
transporter platform and remove your shoes.”
I don’t remember Captain Kirk ever having to remove his shoes. And what about food replicators? All you had to do was hit a button or two
(how the replicator knows what you want with the push of only two buttons I’ll
never know, but it worked!) and bingo, a bowl of steaming hot chicken noodle
soup! Nowadays what do we have? Frozen microwave meals that taste like crap
and cost a fortune!
Speaking of
fortunes, ever notice how in the future they don’t have money? I even remember Captain Picard (of the “next
generation,” even farther into the future) saying something to that effect to
some guest star. So what I want to know
is, why would he want to go out in space, facing death and destruction instead
of spending his time at a leisure activity that he enjoys, like fishing or
going to strip clubs? And how does he pay
for the cool “Enterprise” models he had in his stateroom? And, if they don’t have money in the future
why don’t we see more fights in Whoopi Goldberg’s bar from drunks that can
drink as many drinks as they want because they don’t cost anything? And how can evil Spock shave a perfect
“evil” goatee if he can’t buy any razors?
Are razors free in the future?
What a bunch of B.S.
 |
| Hey look! They still use paper shopping bags in the future! |
Ok, so maybe I’m
being a little too critical here since we’re not quite in the 25th
century, or wherever or whenever they were. But I do remember reading Popular Mechanics magazine, telling me
that by the 1980’s we would all have personal spacecraft, robot maids (and
Roombas don’t count,) elevators that would take you straight up to the orbiting
space station, that looked like a cool wheel (not the monstrosity that is the
I.S.S.,) jet packs, “holo” decks, domed cities that exist on the ocean floor,
and, yes, what I’ve been waiting for the most, flying cars.
Well,
it’s well past 1984 and I still don’t have my flying car! They were supposed to look like the
Jetsonmobile, with a domed cockpit; be able to fly about 200 feet off the
ground; have hover capability; and automatic, retractable landing gear. Last I looked, they were still building
freeways and tires. Dang, the future sucks! Harrumph…
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