Well, it’s here
folks. The end times… The final year…
The end of the world as we know it… and I feel fine. 2011 is over and 2012 is here.
We’ve all heard the talk about the Mayan calendar ending in 2012. December 21st, 2012 to be
precise. And, since the Mayans have a
100% correct record of predictions (Not only have they predicted the date of
the end of the world, but they also predicted the arrival of Cortez, the rise
of the Nazis, the success of the Kool Aid “Oh Ya!” campaign, and the
exact date of Regis Philbin’s retirement) we must all be prepared for the end
of the Mayan calendar… and the day after.
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| Hey, did you write a note on the calendar for my birthday? |
It is also
fitting that this is Harrumph File #100, which was a pre-programmed “hold”
point in the HARRUMPH countdown to the end (hey, if NASA can do it so can
we!) Yes, this column has been
published once a week for the last two years with the express purpose of
keeping you informed and aware of the dangers so that you can go about your
business without looking over your shoulder every 2 seconds (HARRUMPH has done
that for you.) Well, it’s time to
dedicate some of the precious time left before the end for our own protection.
There are many
things to do in the next 354 days to make sure that we are still here on day
355. You see, you may be running
around screaming in terror as the zombie hordes close in around you on December
22, but we’ve got plans. Plans not only
for December 22nd, but long-range plans into 2013, 2014, even to the
year 2525. In order to still be around
to execute these long-range plans we’ve got a lot of things to do. Sandbagging windows, boarding up doors,
counting and re-counting ammunition, practicing head shots (remember the
knowledge gained from George A. Romero: “kill the brain, you kill the ghoul.”)
So,
since we’ve reached our pre-programmed “hold” point, and since we’ve got many,
many tasks ahead of us, and since we’ve seemed to have picked up a couple of
“stalkers” along the way, we now offer you our final harrumph… at least until
December 23rd, 2012… Harrumph…
